


Desperate Measures

by LarirenShadow



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 21:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7377793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarirenShadow/pseuds/LarirenShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day after the Brexit vote Rey desperately wants to leave the UK.  Enter Kylo Ren, an American political blogger who's her kind of friend and just so happens to be moving home.  She proposes a plan to leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desperate Measures

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bean_solo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bean_solo/gifts), [Applesith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Applesith/gifts).



> This whole situation is something that is ACTUALLY hurting people. I don't want to try to down play this at all, it's a real issue and here I am using it for a plot point. Please do research this if you're interested. The idea came up in a group chat to help cheer up some people who are, in fact, dealing with the fall out of the Brexit vote. I started plotting out this fic and they were on board. I know it's probably not for everyone and things are getting heated in the UK.
> 
> Gift for Angry, Melissa, and Applesith from Skype, who are dealing with this whole thing too.
> 
> Thanks to bittersnake for reading this over and editing.

Rey had checked three different news websites to make sure it was real. While she had understood there was a possibility that the referendum would pass she had never entertained the thought of it actually doing so. Now the results were splashed across every site she checked on her phone and on the papers for sale, as she got off the tube at Parson’s Green. 

Rey opened the front door of The Missing Saber with her spare key. She immediately went to the bar and poured herself a glass of whiskey. Usually she didn’t partake in the one free drink she was allowed as a bartender here but today she was going to ask Maz if she could use up all her skipped drinks. She needed them. She took a big swig before refilling the glass, loving the burn in her stomach and the slightly light feeling in her head.

“You should slow down,” came Maz’s calm voice. Rey looked down to see the short, older woman carrying a tray full of clean glasses. “It’s not the end of the world.”

Rey took another sip. “Actually it is. What if I wanted to go to France to work in a bakery? What if I wanted to study fashion in Italy? Or beer in Germany? Or whatever they do in Belgium? I can’t now. I can’t just go to the continent to get a job! The pound has already dropped in value and I can’t believe people were stupid enough to vote this way!” She finished the glass in one gulp. “Finn’s already texted me that he’s leaving London to go live with Poe in Ireland while he still can. He’s worried about his savings but Poe assured him they’ll be fine. Jessika is in a panic because her job offer in Austria might be in jeopardy now.”

Maz put her hand on Rey’s back. “Breathe child. Just because this passed doesn’t mean that a Brexit is really going to happen. You know Parliament can stop this.”

Rey poured herself another glass which Maz promptly took away. Rey glared but didn’t try to grab it back. “You’re right and there’s already a petition for a second referendum. I’ve signed it, of course,” Rey added. “I just...I really don’t know if I want to stay here.”

“It’s up to you. Now drink some water before you fall over.”

“Yes Maz,” Rey said as she poured herself a glass of water. The pub was technically open for lunch now, but they usually didn’t get busy for at least another hour unless there was a flustered lost tourist in the area desperate for food or the traditional pub experience (to which Rey always told them to come back that evening too).

Except for Kylo Ren. He always came in as early as possible, laptop bag slung over his shoulder, for food and a place to write. Well, blog but it still counted. If he really didn’t want to be disturbed he’d sit in the booth in the corner, typing away while he ate the shepard’s pie he always got. If he just wanted company he’d sit at the bar and pretend to write while discussing whatever topic he had to cover with her. For the past few weeks that had been the Brexit vote and Rey assumed he’d head to the corner today to write his piece.

Right on time Kylo Ren entered the pub and, much to Rey’s surprise, sat right in front of her at the bar.

“I thought you’d be writing today,” she said.

“Pint of Fuller’s and a shot please,” he said as she unzipped his bag and took out his laptop. “I need a drink. You want one?”

Rey shook her head. “Already two ahead of you but if you’re buying,” she trailed off.

“I’ll pay and pour your damn shot. So I assume you voted remain?”

She placed the pint in front of him and nodded. “It was the only sane answer. I don’t think anyone really understood the benefits of being part of the EU nor the fact that even though we are part we have a lot of special dispensations already.”

“True and if this is any indication of the political climate of 2016, then I’ve got one hell of a year in front of me.”

She smirked. “You’ve already been working on the American primary, you know how messed up this year is.”

“Yes,” he took a sip. “Speaking of that I’m going to be moving back to America soon-”

“Take me with you,” Rey blurted out.

“Come again?”

“Take me with you!” She said, louder this time. This was it, her way out. She never believed in fate or destiny or really anything like that before but maybe this was the universe telling her to move on. That or she was just really desperate.

“You’ll only be able to stay for, what is it, six months? Then you’ll have to go back and it’s not like you have a passport-”

“I do.” She’d planned to go travel the world once she’d saved enough money and she wanted to be prepared.

“That still doesn’t mean you’ll get to stay.” He muttered, taking a sip of his beer.

She slammed her hand down on the bar. “I can if I marry you!” 

Kylo spit his beer out. “What?” He said while coughing.

Rey waved her hand. “You know like a green card marriage.”

“And what do I get out of this?”

“I can make that lemon cake you like.”

“I can’t eat that everyday.”

“Well that’s your problem, not mine. Look it’s not like I’ll even be a burden to you. I can sleep on a couch-”

“What about finding your family.” Rey took a step back and stood up straighter. He’d hit a nerve there; they’d discussed her searching a few times and he’d even offered to help. “Forget I said anything-”

“I haven’t found them yet,” she said firmly. “And they haven’t come looking for me. I...I have to do what’s best for me and maybe in a few years I can come back again and try. Why are you so opposed to this?”

“Because we’d be married!”

Rey rolled her eyes. “For, what, a year tops? Aren’t you always complaining about how your mother wants you to get married? ‘Hi Mom! I’m home for awhile and look who I brought! My wife Rey! She’s an amazing woman who’s deemed me worthy of her affections!’”

Kylo’s neck went red, Rey could tell she was winning. “While that is tempting we don’t know each other.”

She leaned across the bar again and held up her hand. “One,” she raised a finger, “we’ve already slept together a few times and it wasn’t bad.”

“You said it was good.”

“A lot of women say that. Two, we already talk out our problems to each other. Three, I’ve never asked why your membership to the Hurlingham Club is under the name Ben Organa-Solo-”

“How the fuck do you know that?”

“I went through your wallet while you were asleep and no, I didn’t take any money. I’m not a hooker. Four, this is mutually beneficial to both of us and you know it.”

Kylo opened and closed his mouth a few times. “You do realize I’m leaving in a week.”

“I can be out of my flat in that time and Maz will understand a short notice leave. Just say yes.”

“We can’t get married in a week.”

“Sure we can. You do that in America all the time, right? Just go to the courthouse and get married. We can do it after we land simple as that.” Rey snapped to prove her point.

“You don’t even know where I’m moving to.”

“It’s in America, beyond that I really don’t care.”

Kylo pointed a finger at her. “You,” he began, “you, you, you shouldn’t get married just to leave the country!”

“Actually I should that’s the whole point. It’s not like I’m dating anyone and most of my friends are leaving as well. Please just say yes! I’ll bug you every day till you do anyway.”

Rey held her breath, waiting for Kylo to reply. She wanted, no needed this. Well, maybe needed was too strong of a word but she really wanted it. Worse come to worse she’d be in a new country for a few weeks before she came back or figured out something else.

“Ok,” he finally said with a sigh.

“Yes!” Rey jumped up. “You won’t regret this I promise!”

“Hold on, I have conditions.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Of course,” she muttered.

He pointed a finger at her. “You’re the one who wants to do this, I’m just giving up my social life for you to be able to leave the country.”

“What social life,” she muttered softly before adding, “yeah, yeah. I’m more impressed you’ve even thought of any.”

“Quick thinker,” he replied. “Number 1,” he held up a finger, “we have sex at least once a month.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You would want that and I offered cake. So you know I will get to choose when and where for that and I’m reserving the right to say no.”

“Again I heard no complaints from you before and I wouldn’t want to force you into anything. Number two,” two fingers, “you bake that lemon cake.”

“There’s the cake.”

“Number three,” Kylo continued, ignoring her, “my mother is going to want to get to know you. She can be a little harsh, so please just be nice to her and try to get along.”

“I get along with plenty of people.”

“Just trust me on this. And four no dating until we are divorced.”

“My social life will suffer,” Rey said dramatically, putting her hand to her forehead. “Whatever shall I do?”

“We’re going to have a caseworker and we’re going to have to make this look real.”

She leaned over the bar again. “All right, you have your conditions I have mine.”

“You’ve come up with some?”

“Since you already agreed to me dictating the possible sex: first, I get my own room,” she stated. She wanted to make sure she had her own space if they had to live together.

“I can do that,” he replied.

“Second, I don’t do laundry. You are going to be in charge of all the laundry.”

“Done.”

“Third, you cook at least once a week.” She’d had his left overs before and had been thinking of ways to get more ever since. He may be surely sometimes and horrible predictable with his orders but he could cook and, having grown up with just enough food to get by she jumped at the chance for a good meal.

“Fair enough.”

“And four, we have a cleaning chart. Just because I’m your wife doesn’t mean I’m automatically going to clean up after you.”

He leaned back a little. “I can accept this.”

“I can too. Seal with a drink?” He nodded and raised his beer glass. “No,” she waved a finger and poured herself a shot and gestured to his. He dutifully put down the wrong glass. “We’re going to do this properly.” She held up her glass. “To a new partnership.”

Kylo held up his glass. “To living with you for a year.”

“Look me in the eye when we cheers or it’s seven years bad sex and I really don’t want to have bad sex with you.”

Kylo rolled his eyes but then stared her down. “Noted,” he said as he clinked his glass with hers.

Rey downed her glass in one gulp. “I’m going to need a ring,” she said slightly breathless from the alcohol.

“Fuck,” Kylo said. “I’ll get one.”

“Make it pretty,” Rey said.

“You better be paying for all the drinks your fiancée has had!” Maz shouted.

“Yeah Kylo, pay for my drinks,” Rey said with a smirk.

**Author's Note:**

> I was kind of basing of the pub off of one I went to a bunch when I was staying actually over by the Parson's Green station...according to google maps it looks like it's gone now but also it's been 12 years since I've been in that area of London.


End file.
